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Flexibility...of the heart

7/22/2012

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There is a wonderful verse in the Tao Te Ching, chapter 76.  This was written by Lao Tzu sometime around 600-500 BC.

"When life begins
we are tender and weak
When life ends
we are stiff and rigid
All things, including the grass and trees,
are soft and pliable in life
dry and brittle in death

So the soft and supple
are the companions of life
While the stiff and unyielding
are the companions of death

An army that cannot yield
will be defeated
A tree that cannot bend
will crack in the wind
Thus by Nature’s decree
the hard and strong are defeated
while the soft and gentle are triumphant"


This verse speaks of our flexibility being the key to life.  At first glance, it is easy to think that it is talking about our physical flexibility, which is something that we strive towards with our yoga practice.  However, after considering it for a little longer, it might become to open up with more meaning.   Lao Tzu, the author, was not talking about physical flexibility, but instead how we face the world around us.  Are we stiff and unyielding?  Are we able to listen to other's ideas?  Although we know what is best for us, do we often try to push our beliefs on others?  Is it possible instead to be soft and yielding to those around us?  To allow them to be who they are and not try to force them onto a path that looks like our own?  

As parents, how many times have we told our children what to do?  Of course they need guidance!  It is how we do it though.  How often does the conversation end with, "because I said so" or "because I am in charge"?  Let me give you a better example with the age-old fight of trying to get our children to eat their vegetables.   Of course, we can try to do this by forcing them to sit at the table and telling them that that they WILL eat them or there will be_____ (no dessert, an early bedtime, more veggies tomorrow,...).  How effective would this hard, strong, unyielding approach be if you were the child in this example?  What if instead we entered into a conversation with the child.  Listening to them from OUR heart, maybe we talk to them about how the vegetables are grown and encourage them to take a few bites before completely dismissing them.  Instead of trying to force them with our mind (ego), we approach them with our heart.  This is the much softer approach that Lao Tzu was talking about.    

How about in our workplace?  How many times have we insisted that we knew the right answer to a problem we were facing and that there was no other way?  And our boss or co-worker was a complete "jerk" for thinking it could be a different way?  Maybe instead we could come to the realization that they have had a different experience in life and could have some very valuable insight, if we would just listen.  Eventually we might come to the realization that they might even be right.  Regardless, by listening to them we are able to open our heart more and learn a very valuable lesson in our lives.

In China, bamboo is a symbol for flexibility and a long life.  In our lives, we often try to be the mighty and strong oak tree, instead of the flexible and swaying bamboo.  The oak is easily broken down by a hard force, but the bamboo is soft and easy to bend out of the way .  In yoga, Tree Pose is a perfect example of this.  If we try to force Tree Pose and be hard and stiff, it takes very little force, or imbalance, for us to fall over.  However, if we are able to be flexible and soft, Tree Pose becomes much easier.

In your life, which type of people do you prefer surround yourself with?  The oak or the bamboo?



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Yoga Leads Us to Loving Ourselves

3/29/2012

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Yoga is the practice of learning how to face life. It is said that we think the same thoughts over and over and over again, similar to how a broken record would sound.  What if these thought patterns are negative? It is interesting, in life, how we often treat ourselves worse then anyone else.  At times, the self talk that runs in our heads would be considered verbal abuse...if it were directed to anyone else.   We would never permit a friend or co-worker to say, to us, some of the things we say to ourselves.  Luckily no one else can hear the things we tell ourselves. 

A practice that I have challenged my yoga students with is to find self love. During their asanas I have asked them to stop each time they get into Mountain or Child's Pose and to think of a new thing that they LOVE about themselves.  I ask them to place it in their heart and hold it there.  By the end of the practice they begin to realize that they have been their worst critic and they also start to have to work hard to find those things that they love about themselves.  Those things that give them pride and worth.  

Self love is one of the most important parts of life. With it, we can finally let go of a lot of past hurts that were based on this fundamental need for love.  This about your relationship with your parents, friends or spouses.  What hurt feelings do you harbor that if you really drilled down to the really issue, it was simply about you not feeling loved?  If we are able to love ourselves, we can let go of the need for others to love and approve of us.   By filling ourselves up with love first, we can go out into the world and truly give love to others, without the need to be loved by anyone else.  This is unconditional love.  Loving yourself and then giving love is saying that you love someone just because you do... and not because they must love you in return.  
 
The ramblings of the mind are no different then a 3 year old with their antics.  How would your life change if you could laugh at these thoughts?  Are you these thoughts?  Are you your mind?  No, not anymore then you are your stomach or your foot.  With that understanding, it is easier to see the ramblings of the mind and just laugh at it's antics.  The mind is no different then the lungs.  It is simply doing it's intended function...to think.  It is important to keep an eye on the mind though and make sure that it is used as a tool to help you figure out solutions, but not to determine your path.

So, I challenge you.  We go through Mountain & Child's Pose many times in our yoga practices.  Each time you do, find something you love about yourself and hold it in your heart.  Hopefully by the end of your practice, your heart will swell and the love will fill your whole body.


Namaste.
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Namaste!